I said in my previous post about rape jokes that I was going to do a series on comedians and other famous people so I thought I would start with Stephen Fry's rape comment.
He said: “Life is complicated and nobody wants to believe it. I suppose you might call it the infantilism of society. There is deep infantilism in the culture, in terms of the way they think, they can’t bear complexity.” He continued: “That you have to think, there are gradations, nobody wants that, they want to be told and to say: ‘This is good, this is bad’. “On student campuses… There are many great plays which contain rapes, and the word rape now is even considered a rape. “Or you can’t watch Macbeth because it’s got children being killed in it, it might trigger something when you were young that upset you once, because your uncle touched you in a nasty place, well I’m sorry.”
Fry continued: “It’s a great shame and we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place – you get some of my sympathy – but your self pity gets none of my sympathy. “Self pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity. “Get rid of it, because no one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. “The irony is we’ll feel sorry for you, if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just grow up."
Obviously, outrage ensued, so he apologized:
“It distresses me greatly to think that I have upset anyone in the course of the TV interview I had with David Rubin the other week. I of course apologize unreservedly for hurting feelings the way I did . That was never my purpose. There are few experiences more terrible, traumatic and horrifying than rape and abuse and if I gave the impression that I belittled those crimes and the effects they have on their victims then I am so so sorry. It seems I must have utterly failed to get across what I was actually trying to say and instead offended and upset people who didn’t deserve to be offended or upset.”
I have always liked Stephen Fry and I have a great deal of respect for him, but what he said about abuse victims disgusts me. First of all, a sarcastic "I'm sorry" that your uncle touched you in a nasty place is infuriating. Second of all, there is a difference between struggling with trauma and self pity. As the president of a mental health charity it is seriously concerning that he doesn't know the difference.
I understand his intent was to talk about curbing free speech, but I never considered trigger warnings or safe spaces could prevent freedom of speech. Adding a trigger warning allows for people who might be triggered by what you are saying to either prepare mentally or to retreat from what they are about to hear or read, but it doesn't stop you from saying anything. That's like saying a description on a book jacket prevents an author from writing a book or a spoiler alert on a post about a TV show prevents you from writing about the show. Giving people a heads up on your topic of speech doesn't affect your speech, it just affects the demographic of people who might be listening.
Safe spaces are a little bit more complicated. I'll be posting about them next.
To be continued...
He said: “Life is complicated and nobody wants to believe it. I suppose you might call it the infantilism of society. There is deep infantilism in the culture, in terms of the way they think, they can’t bear complexity.” He continued: “That you have to think, there are gradations, nobody wants that, they want to be told and to say: ‘This is good, this is bad’. “On student campuses… There are many great plays which contain rapes, and the word rape now is even considered a rape. “Or you can’t watch Macbeth because it’s got children being killed in it, it might trigger something when you were young that upset you once, because your uncle touched you in a nasty place, well I’m sorry.”
Fry continued: “It’s a great shame and we’re all very sorry that your uncle touched you in that nasty place – you get some of my sympathy – but your self pity gets none of my sympathy. “Self pity is the ugliest emotion in humanity. “Get rid of it, because no one’s going to like you if you feel sorry for yourself. “The irony is we’ll feel sorry for you, if you stop feeling sorry for yourself. Just grow up."
Obviously, outrage ensued, so he apologized:
“It distresses me greatly to think that I have upset anyone in the course of the TV interview I had with David Rubin the other week. I of course apologize unreservedly for hurting feelings the way I did . That was never my purpose. There are few experiences more terrible, traumatic and horrifying than rape and abuse and if I gave the impression that I belittled those crimes and the effects they have on their victims then I am so so sorry. It seems I must have utterly failed to get across what I was actually trying to say and instead offended and upset people who didn’t deserve to be offended or upset.”
I have always liked Stephen Fry and I have a great deal of respect for him, but what he said about abuse victims disgusts me. First of all, a sarcastic "I'm sorry" that your uncle touched you in a nasty place is infuriating. Second of all, there is a difference between struggling with trauma and self pity. As the president of a mental health charity it is seriously concerning that he doesn't know the difference.
I understand his intent was to talk about curbing free speech, but I never considered trigger warnings or safe spaces could prevent freedom of speech. Adding a trigger warning allows for people who might be triggered by what you are saying to either prepare mentally or to retreat from what they are about to hear or read, but it doesn't stop you from saying anything. That's like saying a description on a book jacket prevents an author from writing a book or a spoiler alert on a post about a TV show prevents you from writing about the show. Giving people a heads up on your topic of speech doesn't affect your speech, it just affects the demographic of people who might be listening.
Safe spaces are a little bit more complicated. I'll be posting about them next.
To be continued...
