The Party

This is the story I was foreshadowing when I mentioned blaming Sara for what happened because she believed me when I said I didn't care about being abused.

After graduation, I moved in with my grandparents while I went to college. They had a separate building on their property that was called the party house. It had a pool table and a bar and a lot of open space for guests. I decided, newly free of my parents, that I should have a Halloween party. I invited all my friends and my cousins. I’m not sure who invited Zac, but not many people knew at the time, and those who did had no understanding of what was going on...including me to be perfectly honest.

I did beg one of my cousins to make sure Zac brought his best friend, the one they called his moral compass. This friend was supposedly on the straight and narrow and one stand up citizen. Apparently, he was the only one who could talk Zac out of evil deeds. I had met him once before, and he did look like Jesus, so hopefully they were right. Here's the thing about guys who are on the straight and narrow though...they tend to leave parties at a responsible hour. I never thought of that.

I got wasted at this party. I was so wasted that the bartender cut me off. My friend Sara came and found me and I giggled to her that I was too drunk to drink. When she asked what I meant I explained about being cut off. She suggested she got a drink for me and we went downstairs so he wouldn't see me drinking it. I actually didn't care if I drank any more or not, but being sneaky sounded fun to my drunk self.

I couldn't walk on my own, hell I couldn't even stand on my own, but she managed to get me downstairs in one piece. She plopped me down on the floor and I nursed my drink. I was saying something about the room spinning when Zac walked in. I had managed to avoid him the whole party by being inside when he was at the bonfire and going out to the bonfire when he came inside. Now I was trapped in a room with him and Sara. I tried to get up, but I didn't make it. Almost immediately they were having sex. He was penetrating her from behind less than two feet away from my face. I started to crawl towards the door and that made him stop. He came over to me and grabbed my hair and shoved his penis down my throat. "How does Sara taste?" he teased before pulling out. I replied, "I don't like the taste of Sara." to which they both laughed.

Luckily, that's when the cavalry arrived. The door busted open to reveal my friend Thomas, with my tiny spider monkey of a boyfriend on his back. They said nothing, they just grabbed me and took off. Thomas didn't ask questions, I'm not sure how much he knew. My boyfriend knew though. He knew everything. He told me that Zac thanked him for taking me away because he certainly didn't want to have sex with his cousin in the room.

Later that night Zac tipped my bartender $60. This impressed my boyfriend so much that he then tipped $20. I saw in his eyes how cool he thought Zac was for being such a big tipper and I confronted him about it. He just shrugged and said it was really cool.

Sara and I had a huge fight after that night. Not about Zac, because being direct and honest about those feelings wasn't exactly in my wheelhouse then...but that is what the fight was really about. I "forgave" her eventually because everyone was doing it and I was the only one getting hurt and that obviously didn't matter. She finally apologized to me two years ago. I told her I had long since forgiven her, but that wasn't exactly true. I haven't really forgiven any of them.